10 On 20

It's not my birthday today, but it's been 2 months since I turned 20. While I'm still young and have yet to "eat more salt than you've eaten rice", I've learned a fair share of things myself.

Here's 10 things I've learned being 20.

1. Yourself, before anyone else

(to not be confused with being selfish and arrogant)

For a very big part of my life, I've always put others first. To the expense of my own feelings and well-being. I lived in the shadows of people and kept my feelings to myself, making myself a pushover. At some point of time, I began to put myself first and it's for my own good. I became braver, bolder, and more focused, allowing myself to reach my potential by eliminating things/people hindering my progress.

2. Balance is key

Having too much or too little of something will either overwhelm or underwhelm you. So, practicing balance is crucial in whatever you're facing in life.

3. Be kind, regardless

Kindness is something very important to me, be it in terms of actions or speech.

We're all fighting our own battles. Some of us are vocal about them, but others are not. And that's why when interacting with others, we have to be cautious of how we act, how we string our words together, because we're dealing with other people's feelings and emotions.

4. Forgive yourself

I've never been one who's forgiving towards myself. For a long time, I struggled coming to terms with my past mistakes. I've always thought I wasn't worthy of the Almighty's love and mercy. I eventually learn that the things I go through and the mistakes I did are all a part of growing up and becoming who I'm meant to be.

Here's what one of my friends told me,

"You are now elevated further into life, so do your blessings justice, and live in the now. You are better than the you yesterday, and you tomorrow will be a better you. Live in the now, embrace the blessings, glance away at the darkness. The light is in front of you, and with that, the shadow can be nowhere else, but behind you. So let it stay behind you."

5. Never, ever, bite more than you can chew

Back when I was in year 2, I took on multiple volunteer opportunities. While it was initially a form of distraction from what I was going through then, it eventually grew on me. Before I knew it, I was "addicted" to keep myself busy.

But it became overwhelming when events are back to back, and even clashing dates on some occasion. As a result, I overpromised when I couldn't deliver my best. It's then when I realised that while it's a good thing to keep yourself occupied, having too much on your plate isn't really a good thing. Especially when your time management is poor.

6. Always be humble with what you have

We're all blessed with many different things, be it wealth, health, skills, and many others. Sometimes when we're getting better in a particular skill, or when we have the means to buy the latest gadget, we forget to humble ourselves.

But what we have isn't really ours, it all comes from the Almighty. And within a split second, within the blink of an eye, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala can take away what we have from the palms of our hands.

Furthermore, there are always people who are better than us. Hence, there are always new things for us to learn.

7. Your grades don't define you

Let's face it, my grades aren't the very best. In fact, I actually had a hard time trying to be alright with them. I realised that some of us are more gifted with knowledge than others, and some of us are gifted in different ways. So find what you're good at, and just do you boo. :)

8. The languages of love

Younger me viewed love very differently than how I understand it now. I've learned that different people have their own ways of showing and expressing their love. There isn't particularly a "right" way to do so, and I believe that all ways should be celebrated.

9. Speak a good word, or remain silent - Rasulullah ﷺ

I think that "speaking a good word or remain silent" is a forgotten sunnah that I myself most of the time forget to practice.

I realised practicing the above sunnah prevents us from hurting other people's feelings. And I think it's so important to do that, instead of expecting someone to be immune to hurtful words hurled at them. We shouldn't make someone feel obliged to suck it all in, we shouldn't make someone feel they're not allowed to feel.

10. Show, not tell

The "show, not tell" principle is mostly applied in compositions, articles etc.

But in this context, it's to not let people know of your dreams, rather show them. I used to be one who paints my goals, my ambitions all over my Facebook wall, blogs, but as years passed I learned to keep them to myself.

I figured that keeping my oaths, my aims to myself makes the desire to upgrade more sincere. Not just for show.